Clavicle: Surgery Recap

/ 22.6.12 /
The act of having a surgical procedure doesn't frighten me. In fact, it's often kinda fun ('fun' as in I get to wear a Johnny and have pretty ladies feed me ice chips). But yeah, surgery at Salem Hospital was fairly decent.

First thing in the AM I met a nice, gay male nurse named Stephen. He was off duty but felt like chilling in my pre-op room with my other nurses to keep me company... which was generous of him as my operation was pushed back 2hrs. Had Steve not kept me mentally occupied, via shooting elastics at passerby's and telling me tales about his adventures in P-Town, I would have certainly started to panic.

Once my room and surgical team were ready for me, I was wheeled off and placed on the operating table and met my anesthesiologist.

"So you're Patrick?" she says.
"Um, yeah... it's a pleasure to meet you. So I understand that you're hear to make me happy?" I reply.
"Oh you bet! I'm gonna take reeeeeeal good care of you"

After waking up from surgery, my surgeon informed me that he had sent my parents home because the operation had taken longer than expected. Initial estimates were 1.5-3hrs. 

I was opened up for 5hrs. 

So, being the idiot that I am, I immediately request my cell phone. All of 10min goes by and I turned into a mini diva... started demanding things of my friend's via twitter and text.

I asked the Dr what was now installed into my shoulder. Surgeon replied: "Well, there was a lot of what I would call 'bone dust' in there that needed to be dealt with first. But after that was cleared away, I left you with one large titanium plate and ten screws anchoring the bone into one piece again. You should be 100% in 3-4 months". Side note... Dr. O'Brien (my surgeon) is easily the nicest doctor I've ever met.

20-22hrs after surgery I was released into the wild again to fend for myself... which I am apparently really bad at. One hour out with the general public and I was bitten by a dog. It continuing to bleed for a few hours and in hindsight I should've gotten a stitch or 2... but I instead had my roommate buy me some liquid bandaid and glue that bitch shut.

I'm now at home recovering. All my lovely friends keep stopping by to say hello and deliver me food... and cappuccinos.

Clavicle Fracture: An Exclusive Club


Anonymous on: 22 June, 2012 said...

I heard they put that old dog down after it bit you.

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